I called Three Australia to enquire about a $10 late-payment fine on my $24.50 mobile broadband package.

Three Australia fined me

Three Australia provide my mobile broadband.  I hardly ever use especially now I have an android phone it but it has been worth having for meetings with clients where we want to use the laptop.

ASIDE: It also works well with Linux (on my laptop)…. it is however terrible on Windows XP (also on the laptop, via dual boot) because I have Norton 360 and somehow that’s not compatible.

Okay so I should have paid $26.50, $24.50 + $2 for a paper bill on the 4th if August and I actually paid on the 12th of August. I hold my hands up and admit it I was naughty!

A $10 fine seems excessive and as it was the first late payment in well over 18 months of my 24 month contract

Calling Three Australia about mobile broadband

I called the “Need Help?” number 13 33 20 and navigate through the robot. I’m not a fan.

I speak to a guy from India called Avie, I have never called in 18 months of being a customer so have no idea of my pin number. He asks all sorts of other questions that are not in any way authenticating but eventually he says I’ve passed security… er okay

I explain my simple point that I am a good customer without ever paying a bill late before and I’d like this fine waived please.

No! He doesn’t even check. According to him three is free from considerations like taking care of customers.

He says over and over “IT IS IN THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS” like this is some free pass to rip-off customers.

So I ask two question…

• When does my contract end? Answer: 17-Jan-10
• Can I speak to a supervisor? He puts me on hold.

Oh dear. Three Australia have staff and/or telecom problems.

10 minutes later I’m waiting and waiting listening to the same music over and over. Thankfully it is not wasted time as I am still working at my desk.

After 15 minutes I think to myself, is he ever coming back? Am I alone here?

I decide to call up on my other phone line and try and speak to a supervisor another way.

More Three Australia beauracratic rubbish

After yet another confusing session with the call-centre robot I get through to Tania.

I asked right away for the supervisor.

She refuses without an explanation.

I explain that I want to complain about her colleague.

She refuses without knowing who.

I explain that I am not stupid enough to tell her and she ought to just put me in touch with a supervisor.

No.

Hmmmmm.

Helpfulness score so far ZERO out of TWO people.

Avie of Three Australia returns

Just as I hit that other dead end the previous dead end came on the line proffering a supervisor.

Bye bye Tania. Click.

Three Australia supervisior Sharon

I was taking notes by this stage so I wanted to find out how many letter “r” are in Sharon for my notes. She didn’t know.

Not a good start I thought.

Aside: We know a few Sharrons in OZ with two and in the UK the most common spelling is with one, i.e. Sharon.

Three Australia mobile broadband did waive the $10 late payment fee

So at great length she explained that because I’d never been late before she would indeed consider waiving the late payment fine but it was such a lot of waffle I couldn’t tell if she was actually doing it or not.

I asked outright…. “Will you waive it YES or NO?”

Eventually she stopped waffling and said “Yes”

I asked why Avie, the first operator, had left me on hold for so long and been so rude about not doing something she could actually just do right away.

She said she was the one with the power to waive.

I made some MBA type recommendations about improving Avie’s training and empowering him with $10 waiving rights if the customer is a good customer and worth not upsetting. She agreed but implied it was not in her power to do anything.

I was upset: “I want nothing to do with Three Australia”

I explained that once my contract ends on the 17th of January 2010 I want nothing to do with them and will be not be renewing my contract.

I tried to get a straight answer about paying the three or four months left on my contract in advance so I could just forget about bills from them and getting fined ever again. Sharon couldn’t help me and put me on hold “for 2 minutes” to transfer me to cancellations”

5 minutes later I’m thinking – oh great here I go again.

Sharon came on the line transferred me.

Carmen explained that Sharon has told her everything hence the massive delay, so now wanted to cancel my contract there and then and charge me $98.

Hello? What? Er, no.

I explained yet again that all I needed to know was how much to pay in advance for all the future bills and I would cancel on the 17th of January.

She couldn’t tell me because she couldn’t work out whether it was 3 or 4 months of bills to January.

I asked: Can I pay in advance?

Yes

Ok, Goodbye, click.

Conclusions of Three Australia’s Mobile Broadband Call-Centre

1. I’m, not surprised Avie, the first guy I spoke to, is a grumpy rude individual. He must be very frustrated that he can’t even waive a $10 late payment fee to someone who ticks all the boxes…. never late before and reasonably likely to renew they contract.
2. Tania, also on the front line was equally hostile and useless. I assume that’s just part of being the “buffer” or “front line” on the call-centre. The feeling I get from both of these two is… the customer is NOT right, this is a call-centre damn-it!
3. Supervisor Sharon. Can’t spell your own name? Even if it is a fake name – know how to spell or listen to the customer and stop waffling garbage.
4. Carmen. Useless, what was Sharon talking to you about?
5. It seems like call centres suck, for customers and employees. The only winners seem to be fat cats that don’t ever go to or endure their own call-centers and get to pocket fines from people who hang up when the call-centre front line treats them like dirt. Surely there is a better way.
6. I’d never noticed before but I think Three Australia’s bills have always arrived quite some time after the “issued date” this months was a whole week and I know the post isn’t that slow. I’m going to be watching now.
7. Pay your bill on time in Australia or get fined like the criminal you are.
8. I will now be moving my mobile broadband to anywhere but three when the contract date ends. I’m looking for a new dead. I like the look of Dodo’s pay-as-you-go so I’ll look that up.
9. When my mobile phone contract is up next (personal or business) I am confident Three Australia’s mobile service will be last on my list with a line through it.

Final tip for Three Australia

Be careful who you upset. They may just be a Brisbane SEO Professional that can write a really damning article about his own personal experience of your rubbish customer services with all sorts of top keywords in it about your company.

Notes

For international readers this is common in Australia, companies bill monthly for things billed for quarterly in most countries and then it feels like they go out of their way to get fine you.

The problem is that as a normal part of the process my company’s contact details are published along with the trade mark details. This is all good really except that I’ve started to receive dodgy junk mail which look like invoices. So far I have received two (I’ll keep this updated)…

1. GAIA almanach – USD1,650

The details above give you a sample registration. In case of acceptance of the offer for registration and listing in the Publication 2009 of “GAIA almanach”, we kindly ask you to pay the sum for the activation and registration in advance, by remitting a cheque or by remitting a bank draft. The fact of transferring the amount indicated means automatical approval of our offer. After printing you will receive one complimentary copy.
If your details change, kindly inform us per e-mail (info@gaiaalmanach.com). You can also get more information on this address.

And then in equally dodgy French.

Automatical….? Nice word.

I pity anyone who doesn’t check their post and accidentally sends these illiterate people money.

2. TM Collection – USD1,650

Left mentioned data constitute a sample registration. By transfering the amount indicated, you approve this offer for listing in the TM-Collection – Edition 2009. In case of any changes, kindly inform us per e-mail (info@tm-collection.com). After printing you will receive a complimentary copy of the publication. Above sum is payable in advance, by remitting a cheque, or by money transfer.

And again written in shocking French.

Can you spot the similarities? They are basically the same prose, the give-away is of course the same mistakes.

So undoubtedly they are scammers…. but to be sure and work out how much effort they’ve put in I visited the websites in the footer of each. Both are pretty similarly shabby, shockingly slow to load and include various atrocities in English grammar.

A whois shows that GAIA Almanach’s office address is very close to, or one and the same as, for the website designer credited on their website, webshark.hu (I won’t link to them)

Economical for scammer..?

A small letter like this would cost $2.05 (that’s AUD) right now thats $1.32 (in USD), click here to ask google (new window). I have no desire to learn Hungarian and wouldn’t know where to start with trying so I’m assuming that the postal service in Hungary costs the same (hey I don’t have all day)….

BREAK EVEN: 1 “SALE” in 1250 ( = 1650/1.32 )

I just count myself lucky that I do my own accounts at the moment. My wife who normally does them is very busy getting ready for our new baby, she’s good but with “pregnancy brain” she might have accidentally paid them!

Conclusions

Make sure your accounts team look out for dodgy post especially when you register a trade mark.

As a small business that is growing I can highly recommend the online accounting system built by SAASU – at saasu.com – you can use it to make sure all payable amounts must have a purchase order number…. i.e. no payments go out without one…. this would stop dodgy invoices in their tracks.

I imagine these Hungarian trade mark scammers are targeting companies all over the world not just Australia. It is clearly economically viable for them to scam people so take care.

Leave a comment if they’ve hit you too.

IP AUSTRALIA’s OFFICIAL WARNING

My searches turned up this document at IP Australia: TRADEMARK APPLICATION KIT (pdf) It includes the following (on page 20)

Warning — unofficial register/services

Trade mark owners may be sent unsolicited documents from companies
which offer, for a fee, to register trade mark information for the
implied purpose of protecting trade mark rights. Some of these
companies identify themselves as
◗ Globus Edition SL, Palma de Mallorca, Spain
◗ Company for Economic Publications Ltd, Vienna, Austria
◗ IT & TAG, Switzerland
◗ Company for Publications and Information Anstalt,
Liechtenstein
◗ INFOCOM, Schaan, Switzerland
◗ Edition The Marks KFT
◗ International Bureau for Federated Trademark & Patent
Register
◗ Gaia Almanach LTD
◗ Commercial Centre for Industry and Trade, Switzerland
◗ European Institute for Economy and Commerce EIEC, Belgium
◗ Institute of Commerce, Trade and Commerce, Switzerland
◗ TM Collection, Hungary
◗ ZDR – Daten register GmbH, Germany
◗ Register of International Patents and Trademarks (RIPT)
These companies are sending documents resembling invoices to trade
mark owners which offer ‘entry’ of trade mark details in an annual
publication. They are usually sent after the trade mark details have
been advertised in the Official Journal.
These companies are not associated with IP Australia and have no
official or governmental authority. The service they offer does not
provide official trade mark registration or trade mark rights in
Australia or any other country.